Domestically Challenged Mommy Code of Ethics
I will not stick to a play group schedule.I will not do the dishes every night. Or the laundry. Or any other chore.
I will not remember to make the kids’ cupcakes for them to take to school on their birthdays.
I will not be able to keep the living room from looking like a box of cheerios threw up in it from time to time.
I will not always remember to take the clothes out of the washer and put them in the dryer.
I will not remember to charge my cell phone or turn on the alarm for that matter.
I will not look directly into the eyes of anyone at any of my children’s activities who is asking for volunteers.
I will not always remember the dentist appointment I told the kids I would be picking them up early for later in the afternoon.
I will not pick up the house until 15 minutes before my husband gets home, most days.
I will not remember to attend my own baby shower without a reminder two days out, and then the morning of …
I will not be able to clean the kitchen in under 45 minutes.
I will not likely “clean as I go” when I cook, so the kitchen will look like someone picked it up, shook it, and put it back down when I am done making dinner.
I will not always remember to take meat out to defrost for dinner until it’s far too late.
I will not always remember to turn on the rice maker after I put rice and water in.
I will not be able to find my keys when they are sitting in plain sight, right in front of me.
I will not be able to find my keys when I leave them on the edge of the counter in plain sight, right in front of the baby.
I will not always get more than about four hours of sleep.
I will not usually get up to make the kids breakfast or get them dressed. They do this rather well on their own most school days.
I will not usually fix my hair and put on make-up when I don’t plan to leave the house.
I will not be able to make a cake that looks like it came out of Better Homes and Gardens magazine.
I will not make different food just because one or more children do not like the dinner I made. The exception to this is really gross Salmon burgers. We will throw those out and have Captain Crunch for dinner.
I will not likely call a friend just to chat unless there is something going on in their lives where I know they need me.
I will not always remember to remind the tooth fairy that she needs to actually take the tooth and leave some money.
I will not know my husband’s work schedule, and will most likely call a couple times to confirm when he’ll be home, so I know when to have dinner ready.
I will not spend a lot of time outdoors doing garden work or yard work or anything else that has a chance for exposure to a lot of bugs or heat.
I will never understand parents who don’t want their kids around, or who are “stifled” by young ones in tow.
I will never have my crap together ever again.
–HOWEVER–
I will love my husband and my children unabashedly.
I will give big and many hugs to my children when they come through the door after school.
I will lay with my 1-year-old when she naps as she sucks on her fingers and entwines her fingers in my hair, inevitably pulling out quite a bit of it.
I will comfort my children when they are hurt, or sad and rejoice with them when they are happy.
I will try to clean out the diaper bag at least once per month.
I will stay up all night to make brownies for my son’s Valentine’s Day party because he told his friends he’d bring two pans worth, and although he asked me at 9 p.m. the night before, I didn’t want him to have to show up empty-handed.
I will turn up my 80s music far too loud in the minivan while the kids and I sing and bob our heads to the beat.
I will help my children with their homework and praise them when they figure out something they’ve been struggling with and encourage them when they can’t figure something out.
I will always give my husband the benefit of the doubt when it comes to our relationship.
I will try hard not to put my husband up on a pedestal, or at least not let him know that I have put him there.
I will regularly put a bandaid on an “owie” that isn’t really an owie at all.
I will encourage my children to learn and continue learning every day of their life.
I will stay up till 4 a.m. on Christmas morning just to help maintain the magical feeling of seeing the presents “appear” when the kids wake up one hour later.
I will be there for my husband to lean on, even when he thinks he doesn’t need me.
I will wake up 10 times in the middle of the night to check temperatures, provide water and distribute medications.
I will randomly show up at my kids’ school “just because” to say hi and snag a hug or eat lunch with them.
I will happily give up new clothes or things for me to buy clothes or things for the kids.
I will encourage the kids to be responsible with their money.
I will make my kids eat vegetables.
I will learn to let go as my kids grow up, allowing their privileges to expand with their level of responsibility.
I will accept responsibility and consequences for my own actions to set a good example for the children to do the same.
I will “ooh” and “ahhh” over every picture my kids draw for me, whether it is a scribble of lines or an intricate drawing.
I will sit on the floor with the baby and put together the same puzzle no less than 25 times.
I will spend 20 minutes on a diaper change to properly apply the creams to help a mad butt rash get better.
I will play “Chick Chick Boom Boom” with my kids even though sitting through it makes me cringe on the inside.
I will stay up as late as I need to in order to get my work done because I refuse to get sucked into the computer and work while my kids and husband are awake.
I will have hot sex with my husband even when I just want to have a hot bath instead.
I will cut the crusts off my girls’ sandwiches because they don’t like them.
I will make silly faces with lunch food, raisin eyes, apple slice ears, sandwich smile.
I will sing silly songs and play silly games just to hear my children laugh.
I will watch the same movie to the point where I can recite most of the dialog from heart — just because the kids choose that one to watch during movie time.
I will apologize when I yell.
I will try hard to apply consistent, loving discipline and appropriate consequences when my children do not obey.
I will try really hard not to say “crap” all the time.
I will always ask the kids about their favorite thing about their day, and their least favorite thing.
I will always get upset when my children are mean to each other.
I will be happy with every moment I get with my family, whether it be one year, ten years or more. I am more happy to have any time at all than none.
I will never forget that my children are learning how to be in their own relationships someday from how my husband and I handle things.
I will encourage my children to explore things and challenge themselves to do their best in everything they undertake whether it be writing their name at the top of their paper, or writing a 30-page novel.
I will get up in the morning to help the kids get ready when they are running behind or it’s a special day, or they ask me if I can make breakfast for them.
I will always appreciate the sacrifices others have made for me, and the friendships I have garnered over the years. I will always love my friends even though we don’t hang out or talk much. I will always be there for them when they need me.
I will assure my children that God loves them even more than I do, which I can’t fully comprehend, but I know is true.
I will encourage my children to think out of the box, knowing full well that they need to learn the boundaries of the box FIRST before they can.
I will say what I mean, and mean what I say. There is no room for passive aggressive anything in my household.
I will BE THERE when my husband needs me, when my children need me, when my family needs me, when my friends need me.
I will put aside work for cuddles. Any time. Any day.
